Forgiveness

I've had my few share of drama, some came my way, others I brewed up.        

Im human I've made my far share of mistakes, I mean who hasn't?Ive always cried wolf and was always the victim in the situation. I expected others to forgive me but not realizing that I had to forgive myself first. 

I've made faults I've hurt others I've even hated, I searched deep down my heart to a place where I avoided for years, I let go of all the pain I've kept in my heart from my past mistakes, I let go of the hope that those who have hurt me will come and say: "Sorry". After all you can't force anyone to do what they don't want to do. So after years of being a victim, I let go, I let go of the pain that was caused to me. I let go of hoping that those who hurt me will come and ask for forgiveness. 

I forgave myself, for any hurt I caused anyone, I let go of any hurt I was hoarding in my heart. I let go of pain. 

I forgave myself of what I had done to myself, I forgave myself for self inflicted pain , I forgave myself for the pain I caused to my body. I forgave my soul for hanging on to so much pain. 

Forgiveness healed me and made me let go of pain, hurt and hate. 

I used to love someone .

We all have out own idea of what love is...

For some love can be feeling safe, having someone to count on. We all have our idea of love and would love to find out selves in such a situation, but as we know this is life and we don't always get what we want.

My idea of love is miles apart from what it is was when I started this dating thing.
I was a naive girl who thought love was easy and that I wouldn't come across any hurdles and I truly believed that no matter what if you loved someone that was enough .

Now am not saying am a whizz in the love department but, I used to love someone, that someone showed me that life is puzzle you have to find the pieces that fit together, some pieces might look alike but there are not.

Love changes according to our experiences, we might start with believing that love is this but end up in a totally different situation and still be in love.

One step at a time

Before one learns to walk they would have to crawl first. And that's how life works, in order for you to go to the next grade you'd have to pass the one before. You can't simply go to any grade you want. That's the thing about us humans, we want the easy way out of every situation, and later regret not going through all the steps in order. After a tragedy happens in your life give yourself time to grieve, am not saying have a pity party for yourself but just go through all the feelings, all the pain and all the emotions.You saving yourself from trying to find comfort in the wrong hands or the wrong "solution". After a relationship has ended, no matter who ended it always analyze your relationship and let go of the idea that the spark might still be there, unless it is of course . Not letting go fully will come back to haunt you, going on to the next relationship with baggage from the last one is toxic and unfair to the new partner because your with them but still shine a light for your previous lover. Don't be afraid of being alone, have some ME time set aside so time and again you can evaluate what is going on in your life and don't be afraid to eliminate people who add no value in your life. Don't rush life always take one step at a time.

Where art thou prince charming.

I believe in happy endings, I believe that every young girl will grow up to be a beautiful princess, and marry their prince charming and live happily ever after.

But just as we all know we have to kiss a couple of frogs before we meet our prince charming. No I dont believe that a womens main purpose is to be groomed all of her life to be passed over to a man.
You see as much as we as women love to stand on top of our towers and scream:'' I am ,Miss Independent'', there is a side to us that loves to be taken care of a side that we love to show only to our partners.

Yes we as women must make a mark In this world , yes we must not be shoved around by men who think that they rule the earth,but we must be careful not to build a high wall around our hearts that even our prince charmings can't break down.

Life doesn't go as planned

Growing up I had it all planned, get straight A's and nothing less, get into the best university and get married. There thats my plan.

Boom , boom, boom , mam was I dreaming . I tried to get the A's then they slipped into B's but I saw it through and I got my matric went to Varsity studied Business Manegment (yuck, wha was I thinking?), but I knew there was so much more for me.
So I did what I have always wanted to do and I studied Journalism , and I must say that was the best decison I have ever made. And I am loving every second of it.
And as I take one step at a time I am living my dream , small baby steps will get me there.

One step at a time.

Anxious is what I am at the present moment , the thought that I may actually see something to the end, don't get me wrong I have started projects and saw them through but I was never this excited. One step at a time is how I plan on doing this.